Grandma Tweedie

My last living grandparent passed away on May 6th. At first I couldn't decide if I would go to her funeral or not. I was, then I wasn't, and after finding out that my dad and brother, Cam, were going, I had to go to see them as well.

I used all of my frequent flyer miles on tickets for both Bob and myself with Graham as a lap-baby. The plan was to fly to LAX and then to Vegas, rent a car, and drive to St. George by 1pm to attend the funeral and then the interment. We made it to LA on time, but our flight to Vegas was delayed by an hour. We finally made it to Vegas, and by the time we made the hour and a half drive to St. George, the funeral was 5 minutes from over. (Thank goodness Aunt Rosemary wrote a long eulogy.) Bob and I quickly ran to the bathroom and changed, then stood in the hall for the last two minutes of the Bishop's talk. I slipped into the back of the chapel with Graham asleep in his stroller as the closing prayer was said. Then Grandma's casket was wheeled out. I teared up, frustrated that I missed the viewing and the entire funeral. That was the main point of me traveling there! Cam looked back and saw me, walked back to where I was standing, and gave me a meaningful hug. He was misty-eyed, and that didn't help me to contain myself much. Russ and Ben, my two other brothers, saw me and walked back to greet me as well. Their silly nature kept me from crying though.

Bob and I left a little before everyone else to get something to eat, since the last time Bob had anything was around 5am and it was after 2pm. We drove to the cemetery in Hurricane, Utah and joined everyone around Grandma's casket. The funeral director said a few words, and then announced that it was over. Really? After thirty seconds of you saying something about a woman you probably didn't even know, you're saying it's over?? I got three hours of sleep, bought airline tickets and rented a car, sped up here for this special time, missed everything except this, and after some generic words you're done??? I was upset. I needed some time to get the closure I so desperately wanted. I tried not to let my irritation show. I didn't need to make a scene or draw any attention to myself, but I was really upset.

Lots of our family and relatives fawned over Graham as we all lingered at the cemetery. He is a really cute baby--I can't blame them.

Finally, as everyone said goodbye and left for a lunch provided by church members back at the chapel, I was the last one there. Bob had taken Graham back to the car because he was getting fussy. I sat in one of the chairs facing the casket, in the green grass and under the shade of the canopy that was set up. It was breezy, hot, and dry, just the way I remember Hurricane. Memories from my childhood flooded my mind--Grandma and Grandpa's yellow stucco house on the corner a couple of miles away, the peach trees and garden and grapevines that Grandpa loved to tend to, Grandma's kitchen and us kids sitting at the bar as she made breakfast for us when we'd visit, her soft skin and gentle hugs, her sense of humor and her sweet laugh... Every time I'd tell her some funny thing that happened to me she'd grab my arm and ask, "Did you write that down?" She was so adamant about family and personal histories. She loved company, especially after Grandpa passed away a couple of years ago. While we lived in Utah, Bob and I tried to make it down to visit her a couple of times a month. And she loved Bob because his jokes and wit reminded her so much of Grandpa...

I hadn't really given myself the time to let it sink in since she passed, and I knew I needed it. So there I sat, by myself crying. I thanked her for what she taught me. I thanked her for her strong faith and testimony, because without hers I wouldn't have mine. I wept because I already missed her so, and her generation within my direct family was now gone. I'd never be able to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house again. We knew she had cancer and that she wouldn't last much longer. She went peacefully, in her sleep, but I still don't know that I was entirely ready for her to go.

I also wept because I was so happy for her. She missed Grandpa dearly, and I can only imagine the joy she felt as she saw him and her other beloved family members again. She was free from her old, frail body. Her sight, hip, and old age would never bother her again. I know her spirit is finally at rest for now. I'll see her again, and I know she's a part of my family forever, but for now I just miss her.

<3

[Her obituary.]

Grandma & Grandpa Tweedie on their wedding day

The last time we saw Grandma.