Ah, the joy!

I love San Diego!

When the plane touched down I listened to the funny messages Bob had left on my phone while I was in the air ("You're sitting on a chair, in the sky!!" [Click here and watch this video.]). Then I called him to tell him I was here. He answered and apologized that he wasn't at the airport yet. I finally got off the plane (after waiting for a lady to get escorted off by some paramedics because she started having some issues in the air) and I went down to the baggage claim area. I waited for what seemed like forever for the luggage from my flight to appear, and the whole time I was glancing over my shoulder impatiently and excitedly, anxious to see Bob again, while the butterflies in my stomach were multiplying and fluttering like there was a field of a million flowers in it. I finally saw one of my suitcases, and grabbed it. I saw the other one a couple of minutes later, and as I pulled it off the conveyor belt and placed it next to my other one I saw a glimpse of Bob's face and suddenly his arms were around me. I hugged him back and couldn't have brought myself to let go sooner than I finally did. We had a movie-worthy airport reunion kiss and then we made it to his truck (I love his truck, by the way, even though its really old and doesn't run the best--there's just so many memories attached to it). As we drove down the freeway toward his family's house I couldn't stop smiling. I love the San Diego sun and how it feels on my skin, the myriads of flowers and palm trees, the way I ride in the passenger seat with my hand in the crook of Bob's elbow, and the wind in my hair with the windows down. It's just like I remember, maybe even better.

The other day we were going somewhere, and as we walked out of the front door Bob stopped me on their front patio and embraced me. Then he asked a question that made me smile and laugh a little at him, but made my day (and made my week and perhaps month, etc.). He said, "Will you be my girlfriend?" I wasn't sure how to react, even though I was quite sure of my answer. We'd never had that label ever before. We'd never been exclusive. We'd always had limits and reasons to not be exclusive. I guess all that's over with now. I just smiled, and after Bob sort of laughed at himself, mentioning how he felt like high school again, I accepted. So now he's been introducing me to everyone by saying, "This is my girlfriend, Janae," and I can't help but smile every time he says it.

So far we've just spent a lot of time together talking and going busily to various places and events that have been planned. I've met his favorite people and his best friends who I hadn't met before because they were all on missions the last time I was here. I can't wait to hang out with Stan and Lyssa again!

Then one of his two best friends, Eric, got married this past Friday. I'd never been to a sealing at the temple, but I was invited to go even though I hardly knew these two people. Bob was Eric's best man so I kind of tagged along everywhere and it was okay. It was beautiful! Absolutely gorgeous!! The Spirit there was so strong and inspiring. It made me really wish I'd been able to see each of my brothers get sealed in their respecive temples. The luncheon afterward was fun--it was at a Chinese buffet they'd rented out. Then there was some chill time before the reception that evening, which was fun and tons of people turned out. But fun as it was, by the end I was really exhausted and I just wanted to spend some time with Bob--just me and him. So we did, and we stayed out until about 4am.

At church on Sunday, after Sacrament Meeting they have announcements and have visitors stand up and introduce themselves. Bob introduced me as he usually does now, and the bishopric member presiding said, "And you're okay being seen with him?" Everybody laughed, but then the bishopric reiterated the fact that they, along with everyone else, love Bob dearly. It made me laugh. I guess most people don't really realize how long Bob and I have known each other. It's been more than three years now--about three years and four months. Holy cow... It doesn't seem like it's been that long somtimes.

There was a baptism after church on Sunday, and the girl who was baptized is great. Her name is Justine. I met her in Relief Society, and I could just feel the spirit eminating from her. She was so excited for that ordinance! At the beginning of the RS lesson, someone from Elders Quorum came in, and since it's always a little odd to have a guy in Relief Society, we all stopped to see what he needed. He asked if there was someone who'd be willing to conduct the music for the baptism. Nobody moved. So I raised my hand and said I'd do it. How typical of me. I enjoyed it though. Justine and her friend who brought her into the church are Polynesian, so the baptism was a blast! There were two special musical numbers, one of which involved a ukelele. There was food afterward, of course. And there were tons of people in attendance. Plus the Spirit there was strong, happy, and relaxing.

Then we had dinner back at the Pettit's after church, and two of Bree's (Bob's little sister) friends came over. We all ate and talked for a few hours. It was nice to sit and really enjoy the company I was in. It felt like home for me, the way it used to feel to have mine and my brothers' friends come over and eat after church. We laughed a lot and I could still feel the Spirit in the room, carried over from church. It was soothing, after having such a busy week.

So now its on to week two of my trip here! This week doesnt have quite as much scheduled as last week, although I think Bob still has a few things up his sleeve that he's not telling me. He likes to surprise me, which is good because I like surprises.

Babysitting comes to an end... for now anyway...

Thursday afternoon went by smoothly, for the most part. Gabby sprung a leak during her nap, so I stripped herself and her bed and washed everything. As I was getting her all changed Angelica came home. She was kind of bummed, wishing all day long that school would have been canceled for the weather (it had been alternating between snowing, sleeting, and icing from the sky all day long), and her younger sister was getting on her nerves. Plus I think they both missed their parents a lot. But there wasn't any school Friday, so I know that had to help cheer things up a bit. Jake didn't have soccer practice, and there was nothing else scheduled for the evening. Hooray!

I made German Pancakes for dinner. As I was slicing up bananas for a fruit salad to go along with it, Angelica came over to the counter and casually asked, "Can we do something tonight?"
"Like what?" I asked.
"Well, sometimes my parents take us out for dinner, but I really wanna go see a movie."
"Your parents take all of you to the theater?" I questioned, with Gabby in mind.
"Yeah."
"Well, let me think about it." I didn't really have to think about it for more than a few seconds. I'm broke, and paying for more than one movie ticket was way out of the question. I know Angelica hadn't realized that--what nine-year-old would? But they have a three-day weekend! I decided we had to do something fun and different from the previous two nights.

I think everyone enjoyed dinner. Who doesn't like breakfast at any time of the day? Jake had some library books due, so we got all loaded up in the Toyota Sequoia and returned them. I noticed a Blockbuster on the way there, so as Jake got back in the car from dropping the books off I said, "So how about we go rent a movie? I saw a Blockbuster on the way here..." Everyone responded excitedly, and I figured I could drop five or six bucks for it. We all went in, and it took a while, but we settled on Beverly Hills Chihuahua and a couple older DVDs for 99 cents each. $6.27 total. Not bad at all.

We got back, and Gabby wasn't in a good mood, though the other two kids were. So Jacob took her up and put her in bed. I'd forgotten until after he'd put her down for the night, but her bedding (and more importantly her favorite blanket that she never ever sleeps without) was all still in the drier. Oh, what a hard night for the poor little girl. Moody, morose, missing mommy, and to top it off, no favorite comfort blanket to sleep with. She got to sleep pretty quickly though. Jake and Angelica and I got some snacks and turned on the movie. It's ridiculous. Nobody see that movie unless you've got someone under 10-years-old with you.

Afterward we headed downstairs to just hang out for a bit longer before bed. Jake got on the computer, and Angelica and I stood around snacking on food in the kitchen and just talking. We wound up playing a short, unplanned game of indoor soccer around their house, in socks on the wood floors. No, we didn't break anything (I tried to be extra careful), and it was actually really fun. Angelica kept getting sillier and sillier as it got later and later. She started bothering Jake as he was at the computer, so he started chasing her around the house. Angelica ran towards me for protection, but I just stayed in my chair and explained that she got herself into her predicament and she'd have to deal with the consequences from her brother. I finally decided it was bedtime around 10:15pm, so I got her to change into pajamas and grab her scriptures. It took several tries to peel Jake away from the computer, but he finally came over and plopped on the couch next to Angelica. Then they wouldn't stop playfully picking on each other. I suddenly found myself quoting my mother exactly: "Do I have to come and sit between you two?" I just blinked after I said it and understood only too well why my mom always said half the things she did. I moved to sit between them, and neither of them moved out of the way as I paused before I sat down. Jake had his legs across the couch, with his feet squishing Angelica, and she was squirming and tangling her arms around his legs. When I realized they weren't moving, I just sat on top of them. Jake didn't think I'd actually do that, so he thought it was hilarious, and Angelica was happy that I'd finally defended her from her brother.

We read the beginning of Alma 27 and discussed briefly what they each understood from the series of verses. We had family prayer, I hugged Angelica and walked her to her room. As she went to borrow her brother's mp3 player to listen to some music as she went to sleep (a normal occurrence) I turned down her blankets for her. I hugged her goodnight one more time and left her room so she could read some scriptures on her own and go to sleep. As I went to straighten up the house, I reminded Jake that he knew when he needed to go to bed and not to stay up too late. He's the most responsible 14-year-old I think I've ever met. I went and changed, and by the time I finished brushing my teeth and washing my face he'd already gotten off the computer and turned out the lights downstairs. That kid impresses me more all the time. I called Bob (once again) but he didn't answer, so I just left a message. I was so exhausted once again that I went right to sleep, even though I debated waiting up for him to call me back.

Friday. I love Fridays. I woke up at 6am to my alarm, then I turned it off and closed my eyes, subconsciously listening for Gabby on the baby monitor. I didn't actually get up until 7:00am, and I was surprised that Gabby was still asleep. I went and sat on the couch in the TV room and turned on the morning news. 15 minutes later I hear her talking in her room. I opened her door and peeked in. I asked if she slept well and she said yes. She asked to watch one of her TV shows and then asked for a snack. As she kept entertained I got out the makings for pancakes and retrieved all the laundry I'd left in the drier over night. As I went back upstairs with Gabby's blankets to remake her bed, she saw me walk in her room and followed me in.
"What are you doing?" she asked. Then she caught sigh of her blanket and gasped. "My blankey!!!" she squealed and yanked it out of my hands. She dramatically collapsed to the floor and hugged it for a good long minute or two in complete silence. Then she stood back up and observantly said, "It's nice and clean now."
I laughed in agreement then asked her, "Was it hard to sleep without it last night?"
Without any hesitation she clearly stated, "Yes," with her little arms folded across her chest, still clinging her blanket to herself.
I smiled. "Isn't it nice to have it back now?"
"Uh huh!" she replied, then handed it to me so I could finish making her bed.

Angelica and Jake both eventually woke up at different times. We enjoyed pancakes at different intervals and then we all just lounged around. It felt like a Saturday. What a treat as a child, to have two Saturdays in a row!

Gabby got back in a bossy little mood later and didn't want to do anything any of us said. I made her take a bath around 10:30am. After I got her dressed and combed her hair I sent her right upstairs for a nap. Then I got in the shower. When I got out her room was quiet at first, but then I heard her bustling around in there. I just wished she'd go to sleep! Maybe she got too much sleep last night, not waking up until 7:15am. I left her in there though, hoping that she might figure it out and doze off or something.

Angelica requested a grilled cheese sandwich, so I made both her and Jake each one. Jake decided to make more cookies as Angelica and I watched one of the 99 cent movies we'd rented. When it went over I headed back downstairs to tidy-up the house a bit before the parents came home. I finished putting the cookies on a plate and washed the pan I'd used for making the grilled cheese sandwiches. As I was drying it off I turned around and there were Tracy and Shane standing in the doorway to the kitchen, quietly grinning as I was putting things away. How long had they been standing there?

We chatted and I filled them in on all the happenings. They had a wonderful time away but were so happy to be back home. It was really pleasant to talk to some adults again. I got kind of carried away, and after an hour of fun conversation I finally left and drove home.

Angelica was sad to see me leave. She was so sweet! She gave me a picture she'd drawn and a big hug goodbye. She was excited to know I'd be back to babysit some more in April.

And Tracy gave me the biggest compliment ever and she probably doesn't even know it! She said that she could tell I did a good job with her kids because "there was a good spirit" in their home when she walked in. That's what I'd been hoping and praying for the whole time! Seriously, it's more than just watching some kids and keeping them out of trouble. I love children! We played and had so much fun together. I felt bad getting any money out of it because it was seriously such a blast. But it'll be very helpful to me to have any extra cash right now, so I appreciated whatever it was they gave me.

Now I get to go on an absolutely wonderful two-week vacation to San Diego. Oh, that is going to be so great and I can't wait for it. Three days to go!

Babysitting continues, with hilarity.

Thursday. I woke up at 6:00am to make sure Jacob had gotten up and was ready to go to Seminary. He was. Good kid! Gabby woke up early, but I didn't go in to get her until 6:30am. She complained about her tummy hurting. As she ate breakfast and watched her TV shows, I was in and out helping Angelica get ready for school. at one point I walked by where Gabby was sitting and got a good whiff of a dirty-diaper scent. I stopped and asked her if she needed to be changed. She said no. I asked if she just was passing gas. She said no. I went on helping Angelica but being wary of Gabby too.
Then it happened. Gabby ran over to me crying and holding her rear-end. I asked if she needed to be changed and she nodded her head rigorously then screamed, "It hurts!!! It's hurting me!!" and continued to scream and roll on the floor still holding her hind-side. I rushed her into the bathroom and began pulling her pajamas off. She was already yanking her pull-up down before I could take her feet out of the footies. All I can say about that particular diaper is WHOA. Talk about explosion! It reeked so I decided I'd just throw her in the bathtub earlier today. Then Gabby kept crying and saying she had a rash. I didn't notice one, but I have no doubt that she was in pain. I calmed her down and cleaned her up a bit until she felt okay to take a bath on her own. I still monitered her, but she played with her toys and washed her own hair, although i had to help rinse it out.

By that time Angelica was waiting for her bus, so I was going back and forth from the front door to the bathroom every few minutes to check on both of them. As I was back watching Gabby for a minute, Angelica yelled "It's here! My bus is here!" So I ran back to see her off.
Not ten seconds later I hear Gabby, "Gelica!!!! Wait!!!" and she comes streaking out of the bathroom and through the kitchen, stark naked and soaking wet.
My first thought was, 'Oh no, I can't let people see a naked, wet toddler chasing her sister down the sidewalk,' plus it was freezing outside. And then Gabby tried to slow down as she neared the front door. She slipped on the wood floor and slid into me like I was homeplate. I yelled for Angelica to come and give her sister a hug inside as I gripped the slick and soaked three-year-old like a bear to keep her from jetting out the front door. Angelica obliged, afterwhich I told Gabby to get back in the bathtub because it was cold. She took off running naked through the house again and I yelled for her to walk so she wouldn't slip and hurt herself. I waved to the busdriver as Angelica got on the bus. Then I closed the door and cracked up laughing. How adorable is it that Gabby thought it was so crucial that her sister gets a hug from her before school? Talk about having her priorities straight.

And thank goodness, Gabby went down for a nap just fine today. Earlier she threw some tantrums and yelled for no reason, when I did or didn't do what she wanted. But when I asked if she wanted some yogurt before her nap she happily accepted it, even asking for seconds. Then as soon as she was done she said "I need stowies! I need my stowies!!" She picked two story books, I read them to her, and then as I put them away she made her way to the stairs. Then she pretended to be a snake all the way up the stairs, across the TV room, to her room, and into her bed. I gave her a couple of books to 'read' as she fell asleep, tucked her in, turned on her music, and closed the door on my way out.

And I haven't heard her wake up yet. Ah, the peace and quiet is absolutely wonderful! I finally showered again and ate lunch. I'm sure if my mom reads this she'll just be smirking at this point thinking, "Oh yeah, you just wait until they're actually your kids..."

So, about that appreciation for moms... I knew I'd develop that gratitude one day when I had children of my own, but I feel like I skipped that whole pregnancy/childbirth/newborn/infant/baby process and jumped into full-on motherhood for the past two days. I'm glad it's something you work up towards usually. I've officially decided I could never marry someone who already has kids, for this reason alone (although there's a lot of other reasoning behind that statement too, obviously).

A looooong babysitting adventure.

When I say this is a long adventure, I mean these blog entries are extremely long.
The adventure has been fun!

Also, I've developed a new appreciation for moms--especially good moms (Read below on my account of Wednesday if you'd like to know why. I think that's an explanation in and of itself.). Thursday has been quite entertaining so far. It's not over yet though...

So, since I have nothing better to do with my time, and since every week is like Spring Break for me, I decided to do something good and productive with myself this week instead of taking a spring break vacation with the rest of the college students in this town. I'm babysitting from Tuesday until Friday for my Institute teacher. He and his wife are celebrating their 15th wedding anniversary this week, so they decided to make a vacation out of it.

Their kids are great! The 14-year-old, Jacob, is a freshman in high school and plays soccer, so we get along well. The nine-year-old, Angelica, is in third grade, and she shies away from being the center of attention, but you get her by herself and she'll just babble on for hours. And then the three-year-old, Gabby, is a riot! She seems so mature for her age. You can carry on a full conversation with her, she knows exactly what she wants and she speaks so clearly that you can't mistake it usually. And she knows her routines (nap time, night time, bath time, dinner time...) which makes life even simpler.

Tuesday. I drove down here with Monica (my newly discovered friend from last week) since she was flying home the next day. Tracy, the mom of all these kids, had only briefly met me once. She told me over the phone that she just didn't trust any members from her ward here enough to leave with her kids for three days straight. Really, she didn't remember who I was until I arrived at her house. And yet, she trusts me indefinitely, even though she hardly knows me? That's flattering I suppose. It was a little weird for me here at first, since I didn't know these kids at all and there were two babysitters (both Monica and myself) for a night. It went well. I made ravioli for dinner, we read the scriptures and had family prayer right before bed. Then both Monica and I went to bed because we were so tired and had an early start the next morning.

Wednesday.

• 4:30am. Woke up. Monica was up showering. Since Jacob is old enough to take care of his siblings for at least a little while and he had to be up at 5:30, I left all the kids sleeping.
  
• 5:15am. Left to take Monica to the airport. I only had time to drop her and go. As I was getting back on the interstate to rush back to the house, Monica called and asked if I could turn around. She had planned on just paying a bit extra for a third suitcase, but they were going to charge her $125 for it. Ridiculous! I told her I couldn't turn back around now, but that I'd just pick it up later that morning if they'd hang on to it.
  
• 6:15am. I made it back just as Jacob was getting into his friend's car to go to seminary. I waved goodbye and went inside to escape the cold that had settled in over night.
  
• 6:30am. Gabby woke up. I got her and made her breakfast then let her watch some of her favorite TV shows (Kipper--which I'm not a fan of--and Caillou--not too bad, actually)
  
• 7:00am. Angelica got up and got breakfast. I helped her fix her hair and went over the questions that would be on her social studies test that day.
• 7:55am. Angelica's bus arrived after we waited outside in the cold for ten minutes.
• 9:30am. After getting myself changed and just pulling my hair up and out of my way, I got Gabby changed and we took off on an adventure to the airport. Tracy was letting me use her car since it already had Gabby's car seat, toys, and DVD player in it. I got Monsters Inc playing and we drove off. Then I realized the gas tank was almost on empty. It took me forever to find a gas station. Seriously! I thought gas stations were on most street corners! Wrong, not around here.
  
• 10:30am. I finally made it to the airport for the second time that day, with Gabby saying, "We're lost!" followed by, "I wanna go home!" or "I want my mommy and daddy!" every fifteen minutes of the drive there (though, she wasn't crying; she was simply stating facts). I gave up on the main level for parking and went to the upper one. I got Gabby out and carried her because not only was it cold and windy, but I didn't wanna let her out of my sight or even chance that happening. We went down an escalator (which Gabby found thrilling) just to go back up one because I didn't know where I was going. By the time we got inside, Gabby was walking and I was holding her hand. She started trying to get into everything! She saw a luggage cart that she took off toward and tried to ride on. Then she kept insisting that she needed to use the phone on one of the self-check-in computers in the line in front of the United check-in counter. Then as I began talking to one of the employees about the bag I was picking up, Gabby took off to sit on those shiny silver bench-seats that was behind us along the wall. I got Gabby and the suitcase and we headed out to the car. It was cold, so Gabby wanted me to hold her. Then when she saw the puddles left over on the parking lot on she had to jump in all of them.
• 11:30am. We got home and I gave Gabby a bath then we had lunch.
  
• 12:30pm. I attempted to get Gabby to take a nap--an hour and a half late. It didn't work so well. She just played and made a racket in her room for a while.
  
• 1:30pm. Went upstairs and told Gabby she needed to sleep. She responded by telling me she wasn't tired. I told her she at least needed to at least try and take a nap. She very obediently got in her playpen, laid down, pulled her blanket up to her chest, and closed her eyes. I was impressed, but I knew it was past time for her nap and it probably wouldn't do any good anyway. She did get quiet up there for a little while though.
• 2:00pm. I finally felt like I had some time to do something. I had intended on taking a shower, but I was too tired to expend the necessary energy to do that. Instead I wrapped up in a cozy blanket on the couch and read a book. Every time I'd close my eyes and think about taking a nap myself I'd always remember something else I needed to get done, so i didn't even get to try to catch up on any of my missed sleep.
• 4:00pm. I began making dinner. Angelica came home. She wanted me to sign school stuff and help her with homework. I got chicken baking then started making the cookies Jake needed to bring to Mutual that night.
  
• 5:15pm. Loaded everyone up in the car to pick up Jake from soccer practice.
• 5:40pm. Home in time to snatch the chicken out of the oven before it got too crispy. Steamed the broccoli, sliced up apples, the kids set the table; we had dinner.
• 6:15pm. Loaded back up in the car, dropped the two older ones off at church for Mutual and Activity Days as Gabby kept complaining about not getting one of the cookies Jake had brought for the young men. I promised her we'd make some when we got back.
  
• 7:00pm. Returned home. I kept my promise to Gabby and we baked cookies. (And I ate WAY too many of them!) She only had two and they were very small ones.
  
• 8:00pm. Thirty minutes late for Gabby's bedtime. Put her pajamas on, brushed her teeth, read her stories, tucked her into bed.
• 9:00pm. Angelica and Jacob returned home (they'd gotten a ride--thank heavens!) and finished homework and made lunches for the next day.
• 9:45pm. Read the scriptures and had family prayer. (You know, I'm really surprised by Jacob's understanding of the Book of Mormon and New Testament. It's impressive, but I suppose that's what I should expect from the son of my Institute teacher.)
• 10:30pm. Got into bed after changing, washing my face and brushing my teeth. I read my scriptures until I called Bob around 11:00 (that's my usual routine). I don't remember what time I fell asleep.

Mosiah 2:17

My mom and dad have always been so wonderful at helping others in serious times of need, even if it means giving someone part of our house to live in for some time. In Louisiana, we had this playroom off the main part of the house that connected the garage to the dining room, and it even had its own bathroom. I remember a couple of people in particular living with us for a month or more at a time when they really needed it. I learned that same kind of generosity from my parents and I hope I'll always keep it with me.

On Saturday night last weekend, I was sitting in my room creating a pattern for a sundress and I heard the phone ring downstairs. I had my mp3 player going, and I didn't really think anything of it. After a few minutes the TV muted and my dad called upstairs to me.

"Hey Janae?"
"Yeah?" I replied as I pulled one of the headphones off my ear.
"There's a less-active girl in the ward here," he told me her name then asked, "do you know her?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Well, she's been living with her boyfriend, and apparently it's turned into a bad situation and she's a little scared right now--"
Before my dad could even finish what he was originally going to say I asked, "When are we picking her up?"
He paused. "About ten minutes."
"Okay, I'll be down soon."

With my dad being bishop in our ward, he's one of the first (and sometimes the only) to find out about this kind of stuff. Naturally my dad felt more comfortable with me going, because it is kind of weird to pick up a younger woman that he doesn't know, bishop or not. Plus I live for this kind of stuff! I LOVE to help and serve and give another person the shirt off my back! I was thrilled.

It was below freezing and snowing outside, so it was a long, slow drive there since it was across town. We eventually made it to a really small, pot-holed trailer park. My dad couldn't see any of the numbers on the homes, and I became a pro at finding the right places on my mission, especially when it comes to seeing little, invisible numbers on doors and corners of trailers. I guided dad to the right one, then as he went up to the door I made sure the trunk of the car was empty. Then I followed after him and climbed the slick, snow-covered stairs onto the dilapidated front porch of the run down trailer. The front door was open, and my dad was inside. He saw me and motioned me forward. We went in and I first met a friend of this girl, then her. I loved her instantly. She was a little emotional but was keeping it together quite well. We carried out her suitcases and bags, and as my dad was putting them in the trunk of the car I went back inside to see if there was anything else. She was standing there looking around the room with tears in her eyes, and that's when I noticed the pink bruise newly forming on her cheekbone below her eye. It broke my heart to know what this poor girl had gone through, both physically and emotionally.

"Last look around?" I asked with a comforting smile.
"Yeah..." she trailed off as she glanced at my eyes and then back at the room, fighting back tears.

We dropped her friend off on the way back to our house. As we neared home we talked about her interests and hobbies, and come to find out she loves art and even debated fashion design. She's seriously such a cool girl! After carrying her luggage upstairs to the guest room and showing her around the house briefly, we headed to the living room for family prayer, where we also briefly discussed church the next morning as well as a few other things. We went back upstairs and I showed her all the fabric I'd inherited from Nin's attic and the dress I was making. Then we wound up staying up for a bit in her room just talking. She knows it was the right thing to do, leaving him. She still loves the guy, but she knows she can't go back. She won't go back either. She feels surprisingly calm about the decision, and I reminded her that it's probably just the Spirit helping her to know what she's doing is right. It's just a really difficult thing to go through, especially because she loves his family now too. She's ready for a change now though, and she's pretty sure it will involve becoming more active in the church. That made me smile, and I reminisced a bit in my memories of when I made that choice too. I'm proud of her for figuring it out sooner than later.

The other day my dad made the comment to me that she reminds him a bit of me. I laughed. At first I couldn't decide if he was talking about the mistakes I made in my life before I gained my solid testimony or our personalities and interests. I laughed and gave him a curious smile, but before I could ask he answered me by saying that it was our interests he found so similar, even though I'm sure it was more than that by the grin he gave me. It's always comforting and something tugs a little at my heart when I realize again that my dad really is proud of me. I used to not really have much of a relationship at all with him, and there's just something so special about being able to talk with him, or go work outside with him, or go fishing together, or do anything as a father and daughter. I never used to have that connection with my dad. Now I wonder what all I missed out on when I was younger. But I'm happy to know him better and understand what he's been through and learn from him. Although, I'm even happier to finally realize how much he loves me, since I think I used to not believe that he really did at all. It was just a hard childhood being the only girl. I used to think it was really bad to cry, and that I should never let myself do it. For a long time I even thought it was bad to be female! Granted, I don't think anyone ever really told me those things. I just kind of assumed it all from my dad's and brothers' reactions to me when I was a kid. For a while I thought Dad didn't like me, but since I've grown up I realize now that he just didn't know what to do with a little girl. He didn't know how to handle the different level of maturity, different physical traits, different emotional strengths, not to mention the PMS. He had no idea how to raise a girl after having three rowdy boys! My guess is he just tried treating me like one of them, even though it didn't work out so well all the time.

Anyway, so life's been kind of fun for the past few days. I forgot how much fun it is to have a friend to hang out with all the time, although this way I have less of a choice of if I want to or not since she's staying here for another week. I just really enjoy helping other people out. It makes me feel like I'm actually useful and important. I know I am anyway, but I actually feel like it when I'm serving other people.

I hope I too can do this kind of thing when I have my own house one day.