Answer to Prayer

I've found that God answers our prayers. He really does. But we have to be careful how we word those prayers and not assume that how we see fit to have those prayers answered is actually how they will be answered.

Case and point:

We've been praying about a career for Bob. He's interested in real estate and has been around that and property management his entire life. He's been considering becoming a real estate agent and then seeing how that career and knowledge can tie into property management. But he's been working this dead-end job at a plumbing supply warehouse. It was a decent job for a good company, but it was more of a means to an end for Bob, and nowhere near where he wanted to stay for the next 10 years. The problem was it takes up his entire day. And he started liking it less and less every day, so when he'd get home from work the last thing he wanted to do was work on something else. But he tried.

So Bob had been praying for this career choice. He prayed for the ability to pursue it so that he could provide enough stable income for his family in the future. He saw the answer as being able to go work all day, then come home and work on this career all evening, and then still have time to play and surf to keep his sanity plus spend time with myself and Graham.

But that answer just wasn't happening. 

Things at work have been going fine for Bob, aside from his slow and steady decline of satisfaction in his current occupation. His supervisor liked him fine, as well as most of the guys he was working with. He was just getting a new gas card for the truck he was driving. And then last Friday at lunch the HR person called him into the office and told him his "services aren't needed anymore" for the company.

What the what?

He came home 30 minutes later and went straight to the shower, partially to clean himself up because doing what he did at work makes him sweaty and dirty, but mostly to settle down and cool off because he was really upset over losing this job.

All weekend we talked about it here and there. We mostly tried to have fun, relax a little, and figure out what to do this week.

Once getting past the anger over the whole thing, we've realized that now Bob has plenty of time to go after this real estate thing. He has plenty of time to do that as well as surf and spend time with his family.

Oh, Heavenly Father... Thank you for answering our prayers in a not-so-expected and yet oh-so efficient way.

We haven't figured out this whole how-to-earn-money thing without that job, because we do still have bills to pay. But we have some plans. I have some ideas of what I'll do and Bob has some ideas of what he can do. Hopefully it will earn us enough to make it for a little while. Something will work out, because Heavenly Father answered Bob's prayers about finding the time and a way to pursue this career. He will surely answer our prayers about how to make ends meet and stay afloat at this turning point in our lives.

Here's to exercising a bit of faith and having the humility to continue accepting how God sees fit to answer our prayers to Him.

Growing Graham: 2 months!

June 6th, 2012

2 months old

I can't believe Graham's been a part of our family for two entire months already! The days don't slow down, unfortunately. So I'm doing the best I can to keep up with my responsibilities to friends, family, home, and church while soaking up every moment I can with my sweet baby boy.

A few of my favorite things he does now:

• Coos, giggles, and smiles--especially while having his diaper changed, that silly boy.

• Pulls his knees up under him during tummy time.
• Holds himself up and looks around like he owns the place when he's on anyone's shoulder.
• Plays and is entertained in his play-gym.
• Kicks his legs nonstop when he's laying on his back anywhere.

A few of my least favorite things he does now:

• Cries at naptime.
• Cries and squirms when being burped during mealtime (to the point that it's almost impossible to hold him!).
• Starting to grab everything with his hands--my necklace, my shirt collar (and pulls it down so anyone around me can see my bra), himself or his diaper while being changed, his pacifier (and pulls it out of his mouth, then screams about it), etc.

And here are a couple of my favorite pictures of him at this age:

My favorite part of this church  outfit: those plaid pants! I love them!

He is so cute! And he looks way more mature than a 2-month-old.

Growing Graham: 6 Weeks

[I know, this is late... I'm playing catch-up again!]

May 18th, 2012

6 Weeks Old

"Got tickets to this gun show?"

• He's getting so much more interactive. He's starting to smile now!

• At church recently Bob was holding him because he was getting fussy. During the Sacrament, while everyone was quiet and being reverent, Graham decided to fill up his diaper in a really loud way. It must have been a huge relief, because immediately after that, he looked up and gave Bob the sweetest toothless half-grin I've ever seen.

• He's been making good use of tummy time every day, because he's now wiggling around more. He holds his head and chest up nearly the whole time and looks at everything around him. He also pulls his legs up and pushes his backside up in the air, which makes me think he may start crawling sooner than later, which, as proud as I am of him, I'm really not looking forward to following him around for the first day or two and baby-proofing everything.

• He loves to stand up. With help, of course. But he likes to stand, and he looks so tall when he does!

• He also took his first airplane ride! 

 He did so well! Bob was with me for the flight there, so that was a breeze. Plus it was early in the morning, when he's usually in his best mood anyway. The flight home was trickier because I was by myself and he's in his least pleasant mood in the evenings, but even then he was still pretty good. The first leg of the flight was fine, but as we landed for the layover, he started getting hungry. By the time I made it off the airplane and got the car seat and the stroller and secured Graham in there and got my checked carry-on suitcase and the diaper bag all situated, I had to use the bathroom SO bad and he was in all-out crying mode. There were no big handicapped stalls in that airport bathroom. The handicapped stalls were maybe 5 inches wider than the regular stalls. So I took a deep breath, pushed the stroller in, sideways stepped in next to it, wedged my suitcase in with what space there was left, and barely managed to close the stall door. The stroller was pushed all the way up against the toilet and there was nowhere else for it to go, so using the bathroom in that scenario gave me a greater appreciation for actual handicapped stalls that are the size of two regular bathroom stalls. I finally stumbled out of the stall, washed my hands, and tried to find the baby changing table because it had been nearly three hours since I had a chance to change his diaper (between driving for an hour and a half, returning the rental car, taking the shuttle to the airport, printing my boarding passes, going through security, getting to my oh-so distant gate and barely boarding my plane in time plus the turbulence on that flight, I didn't have a chance to give the poor kid a fresh diaper until then). I saw door with a sign on it saying "Nursery." I open it, and it's a room no bigger than the bathroom stall I was just in, with a counter and a changing table. What's the point of having a counter in such a tiny room if there's a changing table built in next to it?? Anyway, I finally made it out of the bathroom, all the while Graham was wailing as loud as he could. I made it to my gate, found a seat, and fed Graham. I looked at my ticket and remembered that it said my seat would be assigned at the gate. They would be boarding any second and having a lap-baby requires specific seating on as small of a plane as this was. Halfway through feeding Graham I stopped, put myself back together, and once again situated all of my carry-on items so I could take them all with me to the desk by the gate to get my seat assigned. I ended up being last on the plane because they had overbooked it and were scrambling to find me a seat. By the time I got on, Graham was beside himself because he was so hungry, and I could just feel the tension from the people sitting around me because nobody likes a crying baby, especially on an airplane. I quickly sat down and got to settling him down so he would eat. He was fine the rest of the way, and I was so glad to see Bob. I don't think I'll fly solo with a kid again if I can help it.

Such a handsome baby boy!

My dad finally got to see him! Also, Graham is making a really cute face here.

Tired mommy, wide-awake baby.

Overdue Garden Update

It's been a long time since I wrote about my garden. A lot has (and hasn't) happened with it.

Having a baby sure does have a way of putting other things on the back burner...

My zucchini plants started growing well, and then died. 

The bean seeds barely sprouted, then died.

3 out of 5 sunflowers sprouted and survived. 

The only herb that sprouted was the sage. 

I finally planted everything in my raised bed garden about three weeks later than I should have. 

My yellow squash made it just fine. 

The tomatoes are surviving wonderfully. 

My father-in-law was out doing yard work and stepped on one of my sunflowers, which stunted it and now it's stopped growing while the other two are fine. It looks like we're down to 2 out of 5 sunflowers.

I had to start over with the beans and zucchini. 

Only one of the two more zucchini seeds that I planted survived, and it has completely caught up with the other squash plants. You'd almost never know that I planted it weeks later than the others.

The beans sprouted really quickly, but within a couple of days something had eaten nearly all of the leaves off of every little stalk. I planted some more seeds and investigated the problem. Some creatures live down inside the cinder blocks that make up the walls of the raised bed. I've seen lizards in there, but lizards wouldn't eat those plants. Then I saw a big snail inside one block... And another... And another... And a couple of slugs....

I learned how to hate snails and slugs from my Grandpa. When we would visit him and my Grandma in Utah during my childhood, I would inevitably end up out in the dirt helping him tend to his plants and trees. The snails there were terrible. He would hand me a container of salt and I'd follow him out early in the morning and pour a little bit of salt on every slug or snail I would find. It would make them bubble and dissolve, which, as gross as it sounds, was very effective in getting rid of them. So after discovering those slimy critters lurking around my garden, I took a canister of salt and poured some on every snail and slug I could find, and then I poured a line of salt around one edge of the cinder block walls. Take that! Just try getting into my garden now and see what happens.

Miracle of miracles--one little stalk had no leaves on it (dumb snails), but it was still green, so I kept watering it along with planting a few more seeds (yet again). Every day it just stayed the same, looking sad, leafless, and small. However, on Friday when I went out to water the garden it had a tiny little cluster of leaves on it!

It made me so happy!!

My beans are thriving now that I've replanted them 3 times. 

The lettuce patch had the same problem as the beans. All of the tiny little leaves were eaten completely off. Oh, it was infuriating! But I continued watering it, and it made a beautiful comeback.

So now my garden is doing well, after enclosing it in chicken wire and lining the cinder blocks with salt and replanting seeds up to three times.

Grandma Tweedie

My last living grandparent passed away on May 6th. At first I couldn't decide if I would go to her funeral or not. I was, then I wasn't, and after finding out that my dad and brother, Cam, were going, I had to go to see them as well.

I used all of my frequent flyer miles on tickets for both Bob and myself with Graham as a lap-baby. The plan was to fly to LAX and then to Vegas, rent a car, and drive to St. George by 1pm to attend the funeral and then the interment. We made it to LA on time, but our flight to Vegas was delayed by an hour. We finally made it to Vegas, and by the time we made the hour and a half drive to St. George, the funeral was 5 minutes from over. (Thank goodness Aunt Rosemary wrote a long eulogy.) Bob and I quickly ran to the bathroom and changed, then stood in the hall for the last two minutes of the Bishop's talk. I slipped into the back of the chapel with Graham asleep in his stroller as the closing prayer was said. Then Grandma's casket was wheeled out. I teared up, frustrated that I missed the viewing and the entire funeral. That was the main point of me traveling there! Cam looked back and saw me, walked back to where I was standing, and gave me a meaningful hug. He was misty-eyed, and that didn't help me to contain myself much. Russ and Ben, my two other brothers, saw me and walked back to greet me as well. Their silly nature kept me from crying though.

Bob and I left a little before everyone else to get something to eat, since the last time Bob had anything was around 5am and it was after 2pm. We drove to the cemetery in Hurricane, Utah and joined everyone around Grandma's casket. The funeral director said a few words, and then announced that it was over. Really? After thirty seconds of you saying something about a woman you probably didn't even know, you're saying it's over?? I got three hours of sleep, bought airline tickets and rented a car, sped up here for this special time, missed everything except this, and after some generic words you're done??? I was upset. I needed some time to get the closure I so desperately wanted. I tried not to let my irritation show. I didn't need to make a scene or draw any attention to myself, but I was really upset.

Lots of our family and relatives fawned over Graham as we all lingered at the cemetery. He is a really cute baby--I can't blame them.

Finally, as everyone said goodbye and left for a lunch provided by church members back at the chapel, I was the last one there. Bob had taken Graham back to the car because he was getting fussy. I sat in one of the chairs facing the casket, in the green grass and under the shade of the canopy that was set up. It was breezy, hot, and dry, just the way I remember Hurricane. Memories from my childhood flooded my mind--Grandma and Grandpa's yellow stucco house on the corner a couple of miles away, the peach trees and garden and grapevines that Grandpa loved to tend to, Grandma's kitchen and us kids sitting at the bar as she made breakfast for us when we'd visit, her soft skin and gentle hugs, her sense of humor and her sweet laugh... Every time I'd tell her some funny thing that happened to me she'd grab my arm and ask, "Did you write that down?" She was so adamant about family and personal histories. She loved company, especially after Grandpa passed away a couple of years ago. While we lived in Utah, Bob and I tried to make it down to visit her a couple of times a month. And she loved Bob because his jokes and wit reminded her so much of Grandpa...

I hadn't really given myself the time to let it sink in since she passed, and I knew I needed it. So there I sat, by myself crying. I thanked her for what she taught me. I thanked her for her strong faith and testimony, because without hers I wouldn't have mine. I wept because I already missed her so, and her generation within my direct family was now gone. I'd never be able to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house again. We knew she had cancer and that she wouldn't last much longer. She went peacefully, in her sleep, but I still don't know that I was entirely ready for her to go.

I also wept because I was so happy for her. She missed Grandpa dearly, and I can only imagine the joy she felt as she saw him and her other beloved family members again. She was free from her old, frail body. Her sight, hip, and old age would never bother her again. I know her spirit is finally at rest for now. I'll see her again, and I know she's a part of my family forever, but for now I just miss her.

<3

[Her obituary.]

Grandma & Grandpa Tweedie on their wedding day

The last time we saw Grandma.

Growing Graham: 4 weeks

May 4th, 2012

4 Weeks Old

I love this facial expression! And look at those rolls under his chin--so cute!

• We started giving Graham a pacifier. I didn't want to, but he needed it. We also began swaddling his little arms in with the rest of his body because he kept waking himself up with his startle reflex and wasn't taking very good naps or sleeping well at night because of it. He hates it at first, but stick that pacifier in his mouth and he calms right down, then drifts off to sleep in a matter of minutes. If he gets fussy when the pacifier is in, he sucks on it harder and says a muffled, "Oy, oy, oy...... Oy OY OY OY oy oy.... oy... oy...." while furrowing his eyebrows.

Swaddle Me wraps are the only thing that will keep his hands contained.

• We're also trying to establish a routine of sorts. It's not exactly a schedule yet, but just a routine so far. When Graham wakes up, he eats, and then we have playtime (and it's a battle to keep him awake sometimes), and then it's nap time again. He's been getting more out of his naps that way, and I don't worry about him spitting up when he lays down for a nap.

• His hair is getting longer! There's still a lot and it's still very red. I may have to cut it soon, otherwise he's going to have a mullet.

The mad scientist look.

Blue Steel, anyone?

• The poor kid's digestive system is still getting things figured out. He usually wakes up between 4 and 6 am whimpering and fussing because of some painful gas down in his bowels, and then after a couple of hours of that he starts crying as he continues working it out. So far no remedies have really worked, but we're still trying some things.

• He's getting so strong! When anyone holds him on their shoulder, he pushes himself up and holds his head up the whole time. He looks around at everything. I'm pretty sure he can see and focus on things that are more than 3 feet away even though all of the research and studies say he shouldn't be able to yet. 

• We gave him his first real bath too! His umbilical cord finally fell off a little after he turned 3 weeks old, so a day or two later we filled up his little tub and we took turns holding him and washing him. Graham wasn't sure what to think of it at first, so he pouted and cried, then he seemed to really enjoy it. But by the end he was ready to get out. We hope he learns to like the water though, because Bob is anxious to take him surfing when he's old enough!

Why are naked babies so darn adorable?!

Unsure of this whole bath thing at first...

I can see SO much of my dad in him here!

He didn't like getting his hair washed.

"Thanks, Mommy!"

• He's also started detaching himself while I'm trying to breastfeed him, which gets a little obnoxious at times. He usually tries to relatch himself without my help, but while he's trying to do that he starts pushing himself away from me with his arms. It's kind of funny to see his mouth and hands doing the complete opposite things.

• Graham is really ticklish, like his mom. My favorite spot is his back. If he starts falling asleep eating, I'll take my thumbnail and slide it up his back right next to his spine. Every time he dramatically arches his back, his dramatic hands fly up, he makes some grunting sounds, snorts a little, and then settles back down. 

Another crazy expression.

• 4 weeks to the day is the first time Graham actually spit up on me. He's spit up on Bob, on our bed, on his bed, on himself, on the floor, and all over dozens of burp cloths, but I hadn't gotten spit up on me yet. He's peed and pooped on me multiple times, which admittedly is even less fun and generally more messy than being spit up on. That streak ended quickly, and Graham made up for it by getting my shirt, my pants, and my hand and arm 3 times by mid-afternoon. It had to happen sooner or later.

He's nearly a month old! I can't believe how quickly it's gone by, but between me sleeping as much as possible (and it's never enough) and taking it easy while recovering from childbirth, I suppose it's no surprise that the time has flown by. We're excited to see what the next month brings!

Handsome like daddy.

Growing Graham: 2 weeks old

Graham is a lot of fun to have around. 

Here are some of my favorite quirks about him so far:

• He yawns and sneezes a LOT. And it's so adorable! 

• He loves his hands. He always has them by his face, is always sucking on them, grabbing his ears, opening and closing his fists, etc. He hates having them swaddled in with the rest of him, so we wrap him from the armpits down. He's still discovering those busy little hands, and the other day he grabbed his cheek with his right hand, and looked right at me with this expression that said, "Oh my gosh!! WHAT IS THAT?!! What is THAT grabbing MY FACE?!" I cracked up. Those little hands look a lot like my Grandpa Tweedie's.

• When he's feeling really relaxed and content, he'll have one eye closed and the other open. He does this a lot while I'm nursing him, and he'll sit there staring at me with one eye the entire time. It's mildly creepy and really funny. I call him "Popeye" when he does it.

• When Graham wants to sleep, he sleeps and there's nothing anyone can do about it. He gets it from his Daddy. If he wants to fall asleep while I'm feeding him, he will and I can't keep him awake for anything. No amount of cold hands, moving him around, burping him, talking to him, or anything will wake him up if he decides he's tired and wants to sleep. Of course, when this happens at night, as soon as we lay him down in his Moses basket to sleep, he wakes up and wants more attention. 

• While he's sleeping, he has an excellent startle reflex. It's also hilarious! If you touch him at all when he's sleeping, he throws his arms and hands wildly in the air and shakes them for a couple of seconds before suddenly dropping them to his sides. We call these Graham's "dramatic hands," and we laugh every time he demonstrates them. Some are more dramatic than others. This is a video of some of his not-so-dramatic Dramatic Hands.

• Another thing he does while he's sleeping is makes faces--lots and lots of expressions and sounds to accompany them! He smiles and laughs in his sleep. He gets angry in his sleep. He growls in his sleep. He gets confused in his sleep.The other day he heard another baby cry while he was sleeping and made an expression like he was also about to cry in his sleep. 

• He spreads his toes like I do, but his feet are shaped like Bob's.

• His face shape looks more and more like my own Dad's every day.

• He has a raspy, gentle cry that isn't too loud [yet]. He also only cries when he's hungry, has a dirty diaper, or is trying really hard to fill his diaper. 

• When we try to burp him, he hates it. I know this because he fights me every time I do it. I'll sit him upright on my lap, put my right fingers under his jaw and my palm against his chest, and then pat him firmly on the back with my left hand. Every time, he either goes to sleep and won't burp, or he'll arch his back, support his own head and look up so I can't hold him like that. Sometimes he'll turn his head to look at me, which again defeats the purpose. It's frustrating, but cracks me up at the same time.

• He doesn't like baths... yet. Probably because we're still waiting on his umbilical cord to fall off so we can do more than sponge him down with warm water that cools off really fast and makes his skin cold.

We sure love having baby Graham around! We love to watch him learn about himself and his surroundings! I'm so excited to see what else he learns to do as he grows.

Jams & Butters

My mom is a doer. She goes on vacation and works. But she makes it fun. That's a skill I need to better develop.

Now, I know she came out here to help me with having a baby, not to go on vacation. But even then, she cleaned and cooked and cleaned some more everyday that she was here. And I don't even live in my own house! My sweet mother cleaned and organized my mother-in-law's house for her as far as she was allowed to (and even when she wasn't allowed to). She's such an angel of a woman. No wonder my Dad chased after her and didn't take no for an answer years ago when he was first trying to date her! What an incredible lady.

So, along with all of the cooking and cleaning she did, I told her that I wanted to make strawberry freezer jam and apple butter while she was here. So we did!

I have these memories from my childhood of my mother once or twice a year making enough strawberry freezer jam to fill nearly half of our big freezer in the garage. Then for dinner most nights, she'd make southern biscuits from scratch to accompany the meal. All of us, especially us kids, would load that jam up on them and just binge eat dozens of biscuits that way. My brother Ben taught me to cut them in half, dig out the inside of the biscuit, and then fill it in with extra jam. We'd have to eat those in one bite or the jam would spill everywhere. Truth be told, we still eat them that way, even as adults with kids of our own. I'm pretty sure that will never change!

So my Mom and I made strawberry freezer jam the evening of April 5th, and later that night I went into labor and delivered Graham the following night. I've heard several women say that they did the same thing and then shortly thereafter they went into labor too. Funny how canning and making jam will do that. 

We found a bunch of miscellaneous jars  and spray painted the lids red. 

Beautiful strawberries in beautiful Southern California.

strawberries, sugar, and sure-gel

My mom's wonderfully care-worn hands.

Made of pure deliciousness.

Ten days after having Graham, my Mom and I made apple butter. But we took a shortcut and made it the easy way. Instead of buying loads of apples and taking hours to peel them and make them into sauce, we just bought a bunch of cheap apple sauce, added the sugar and spices, then cooked it down for a few hours until it was done. And it is SO good! 

I don't look half bad 10 days after having a baby!

Smells like magic and Christmas!

Letting the lids seal.

Apple Butter perfection.

Thanks, Mom, for all of your help, for all of the meals you prepared and left in the freezer for us, and for your wonderful company that I can never seem to get enough of! I sure wish you lived closer or could come and visit more often, but I'll definitely take every phone call and email that you and Dad you have to offer. I miss you already!

I know, it's really not the best photo of my Mom, but give her a break--she was up late every night with us while she was here. 

Grandmas are the BEST to snuggle with!